A relationship, in its simpler terms, is nothing but the interaction between two individuals who are different in every aspect involved.
Interaction, in other words, 'Communication' is the key to a healthy relationship.
It is so powerful that it can make a lovely relationship or even break it.
In fact, Communication is like 'oxygen' that keeps your relationship alive.
But unfortunately, Lack of communication is one of the common issues that couples struggle in a relationship.
Communication problems in a relationship tend to cause more troubles than any other factors.
While healthy communication helps in fostering relationships, defensive communication spoils it.
Irrespective of the problems you are facing, communication must unite you with your partner instead of disconnecting you both from the relationship.
When communication disconnects people, problems win over the relationship making it a non-existent entity gradually, but definitely.
Communication Problems in a Relationship
Although communication problems sounds very simple and straight-forward, when it comes to a relationship, they are of different types.
Based on the characteristics of each type of problem, you can sort out a solution perfectly.
Therefore, let us look at various kinds of communication problems that arise in a relationship along with the solutions to fix each one of them.
1. Not controlling the Tongue
The Birth of all the troubles
Most communication problems in a relationship originates through the tongue.
Oral communication is spontaneous and most of the times, it is out of our control.
The words you generally use during interactions tend to define the health of your relationship.
In fact, it is these ‘words’ that make interactions shift from positive to negative state and vice-versa.
Undoubtedly, the usage of bad or hurtful words can damage your relationship and can be even regarded as unforgivable.
It doesn’t matter whether you spoke intentionally or without forethought, but words that are spoken, good or bad, cannot be withdrawn at any point of time later.
So, always be cautious and conscious about the words you speak with your intimate partner or anyone for that matter.
Always think before you speak and make sure you know what you are about to say.
If you are feeling frustrated or sad about something, then it’s better to stay silent than to speak abusive words.
Inform your partner about your bad mood and tell them you would like to take a short break.
Take your time until you feel better and relaxed.
Taking a break prevents the situation from getting worse.
Once you are fine, talk with your partner by keeping the above things in mind.
Following these simple tips will help you to communicate better with your partner, thus, building a healthy relationship.
Ultimately, take care of what your tongue speaks which, in turn, will take care of all your communication woes.
2. Neglecting the Tone of your Voice
your own choice to break the relationship
One of the main factors that cause communication problems in a relationship is the tone of the voice in which communication happens.
A single word can appear decent when spoken in a soft tone but can cause defensiveness when the tone turns rough.
Irrespective of the type of relationship, people dislike when being spoken to in a high raised voice.
Every human being wishes to be respected.
Every human being wants their esteem to be intact at all points of time.
Self-esteem is one of the basic needs of humans. And talking loud deters the partner's self-esteem and acts as a threat to the relationship.
To avoid such a situation, respect your partner no matter when.
Understand that everyone deserves to be respected.
If you feel you cannot display respect to the person, get away from the relationship.
It is good for you and the person involved in the relationship.
Your very decision to raise your voice while communicating with the other person means that relationship is not important to you.
So, irrespective of the type of relationship, mind the tone of your voice consciously during every communication.
3. Mixing Personal Problems with Relationship
Failing to understand that different issues require different treatment
Most of our lifetime deals with issues and it is these issues that make life more interesting.
If you give a thought, there seems to be no point in life where we don’t have an issue to be sorted out.
In the same way, life is full of relationships.
We are surrounded by one or the other type of relationship at all points of time.
To summarize, Life is full of relationships which are filled with issues.
Unfortunately, both relationship issues and other issues that arise in life are inevitable.
When we know that something cannot be avoided, handling it in a careful way is important.
When handled with diligence, communication problems in a relationship can be also avoided in a tactful approach.
Treat personal issues separately without mixing them with the relationship issues you are dealing with.
Issues do not have emotions but the people you deal with have.
Understand the animated nature of humans.
Handle every issue in a calm and composed way.
Avoid treating people inappropriately and becoming a scapegoat to momentary emotions.
Issues may come and go. But, your relationship won't come again searching for you once it is gone.
Hence, if your aim is to retain the relationship, handle every issue with care.
4. Insensible Reactions to Emotions
keeps creating dents in a relationship
Most communication problems in a relationship arise mainly owing to the insensitive behaviour that one exhibits towards the other.
It is not just enough to be sensitive to the environment we live in.
In order to safeguard our relationships, we must be sensitive in our interactions with others as well.
Being sensitive while communicating with others is the heart to safeguarding the relationship we share with them.
While it is important to become sensitive to the emotions of others, it is equally important to avoid being hyper-sensitive ourselves.
Ensure you draw a line between being sensitive towards others and being termed as a vulnerable character.
In true sense, just avoid being hyper-sensitive.
Act sensibly so that no dent happens in the relationship you share with others.
Be empathetic in your approach towards your closed ones.
Love deeply and appreciate even the simplest of the things others do.
Let the others in the relationship describe you by the gentle grace you emit towards them.
encouraging the increase in emotional distance
Tolerance, in reality, is an admirable virtue that helps people win at all points of time.
However, tolerating intolerance is cowardice.
Intolerance leads to bitterness in relationships.
It acts as a huge barrier to positive interactions creating communication problems in a relationship.
At the same time, Intolerance in relationships leads to disrespecting others.
When the extent of disrespecting exceeds tolerable limits, the relationships breaks.
It's very obvious, Isn't it?
Remember - Intolerance only yields losses while practising tolerance bestows treasures on us.
If you wish to mend a broken relationship or continue a healthy one, learn and practice tolerance.
Irrespective of the type of relationship, practising tolerance minimizes the emotional distance existing between people concerned.
Tolerance acts as an effective tool to understand things in the right perspective paving the way to arrive at appropriate solutions.
The scoundrel in the first place
Anger is the number one culprit to spoil the relationship.
Communicating with your beloved ones when you are angry kills the relationship once and for all.
Anger does not sort out any issue but in sharp contrast creates newer issues one after the other.
Being angry, not only causes physical damage, but it also creates perpetual damages to the emotional stature of people disallowing them to join your hands ever again in their life.
Anger is nothing but the weakness exhibited by people who feel insecure about a relationship.
Communicating when you are angry makes this feeling of insecurity permeate all around causing the relationship to break.
The relationship that breaks up due to anger causes so much of dent in the hearts of all concerned that pleasant interactions just remain memories thereafter.
Stop talking when you are angry.
Yes, just stop!
Also, stop thinking when you are angry.
Anger creates a continuous chain of negative thoughts in mind.
This fuels the basic cause that made you angry to revisit the situation repeatedly.
The mind then disallows anything productive to be done causing disturbance even to our basic activities.
If possible, move away from the environment physically or control your mind and tongue in a conscious state if you have to stay back.
This will help avoid communication problems in relationships which arise due to anger.
7. Zero or Excess Communication
It's all about the 'correct' limit
While no or zero communication paves way for newer issues during every sunrise, excess communication kills relationships at one stroke.
Lack of communication increases the distance between two people at a rapid rate.
Such ‘zero communication links’ between people involved in a relationship escalates misunderstanding.
This creates a huge gap between people that their individual characteristics start ruling over them in an emphatic manner.
This further detaches the two individuals associated with each other through a relationship.
On the other hand, excess communication tends to bring out unnecessary information.
This irrelevant information may lead to unwanted ambiguities creating a crevasse in a relationship.
Newer problems crop up, only to further spoil the already strained relationship.
Avoid communicating anything that will, in no way, add value to the existing relationship.
Refrain from passing on information that can deteriorate the relationship making it worse than before.
Ensure you communicate with empathy providing the required space to your spouse at all points of time.
Avoid nagging over your partner without understanding the state of mind he/she is in.
Avoid talking to them just because you have something to communicate.
Following such discipline will help avoid communication problems in relationships entirely.
8. Being a Problem-creator
the worst of all
Life always offers two aspects - one, negative and the other, positive.
The sun that rises in the morning is sure to set in the evening.
The sun that sets at dusk tends to rise the next morning.
Likewise, when there is a problem there ought to be a solution for it.
As all locks come with the respective keys, every problem surfaces with a hidden solution.
Positive minds look for solutions while minds invaded with negativity harp around the problem.
When you are facing a problem, seek the help of your partner.
Involve him or her in the discussion.
Avoid blaming them for being the cause of the problem.
Instead, try to find out a solution to the problem in hand.
Most communication problems in a relationship arise when one tries to blame the other for something that has happened.
Avoid being an escapist.
Together, work out the solution for the problem in hand and walk out with undaunted faith in each other.
After all, there is no point in being a problem yourself when you are already facing a problem in your relationship.
The Bottom Line
We are only alive as long as we love.
We feel alive only as long as we are loved.
Everything fades in life when communication in relationship takes a 'U' turn.
Building a relationship is like giving birth to a child.
When a new relationship is born, it gives as much pleasure as a newborn gives us.
By taking care of the way we communicate in our relationships, we can ensure that we get this pleasure throughout our life.
Avoid communicating just to show you know.
Listen with empathy to show you understand.
After all, every human heart yearns to be understood and loved.
Let love prevail!